Ok, so Kristin and I have been doing a lot of talking about the election and we have finally decided to cast our vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin. I know this surprises a lot of you but let me explain why.
First of all Kristin and I have chosen to have careers in the educational field, notably higher education, and we think that John McCain's plan will serve us best. After eight years of an absolute idiot of a president we think that if we help to elect not only another idiot vice president, but a senile old bastardly president we will have more success in our field. You see with the effective dumbing down of our country over the last eight years and hopefully more to come, we will have an increasingly massive pool of people to try and educate. With no shortage of clientele we will ensure not only an easier job, but long and fruitful careers. We have decided to forego the better pay and health insurance options put forth by Obama for the assurance of millions and millions of idiots to be able to educate.
The second reason is that my sister, whom I love and want to see become as successful as possible, will be entering the nursing profession in due time and McCain's plan will definately benefit her and her beautiful family. You see with a healthcare plan that ensures that a family of four will have a $5,000 tax credit to choose their very own healthcare plan, John McCain will make sure that no family in America will be insured for more than 5 months a year (Average healthcare costs in the US for a family of four is $12,100 per year). This plan will ensure that people who are sick or have serious symptoms will wait as long as possible until they get treatment. Once they do get treatment, it will cost 2 or (hopefully) even 3 times as much as early or preventative care. With this plan there will surely be millions upon millions of very sick people to treat, making positive that my sister's wages are inflated and the work plentiful.
The third reason is that my parents are looking to possibly purchase a piece of property in California. They have worked hard their entire lives and saved accordingly. You see our economy is like an old Ford pickup truck that has been driven deep into a ditch, and what John McCain wants to do is hook that pickup truck up to a winch and drag it even further , not into a ditch, but into quicksand that is filled with scorpions to make sure that there are no survivors. Once the economy is firmly entrenched and festering with deadly scorpions my parents will definitely be able to afford their dream house. You see by further clamping down on those pesky middle class homeowners with tax cuts for the rich, home prices will be driven down even further through massive home foreclosures. This will ensure that my parents will find the home they want, at a price they can afford (But what if they have to pay for healthcare, increasing energy costs, and other rising prices? Oh, don't worry I'm sure McCain will think of something, Maybe Sarah Palin can flash one of those cute winks at the Chinese and Saudi investors that own so much of our debt, and they will help us pay for this stuff....ya that's a great idea! If Joe Biden winked at the Saudi's we'd have another war on our hands, just one more reason to vote McCain).
The fourth and final reason is the most convincing for me. John McCain apparently has a new member of his staff that I feel I can really relate to. This man is hard working, wears mock turtleneck's, and claims that a "vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel". John McCain claims that this man is his idol. He also says that when he is elected to the White House he is taking this man with him to Washington (to presumably make sure that the toilets are all working properly). This man is Joe the plumber. Who is Joe the "a vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel" plumber? Well he is a great American hero. He is a man who is not planning to buy a company but says he is (now that's American ambition). He is a man with a publicist, looking for a book deal, and a country music contract (WOW, a true American!). He is also so hard working that he manages to work as a plumber by day and attend John McCain rallies by night (well he actually attends the rallies during the day so... I don't know when he actually does his unlicensed plumbing). So john McCain has chosen to surround himself with Real Americans like the idiot from Alaska, and the average plumber/con-artist, and not these high culture, "educated", "intelligent", "experienced" people that Obama has chosen to surround himself with. Stupid Democrats.
So in closing, with a country full of increasingly sick and infectious idiots who will lose their houses, healthcare, and self respect, my family will prosper. For that reason vote McCain/Palin.
